Alienation Of Affection In The Backyard
by 51Dreaming
Summary: johnny tries to help the DeSoto Family - again. Part Three of the Alienation Series
1. Chapter 1

**Alienation Of Affection In The Back Yard**

To Dottie

**Chapter One**

"I love you, Uncle Johnny."

"And I love you too, Sweetheart."

"You're my favorite uncle."

"And you're my favorite girl. Sweet dreams."

"Uncle Johnny?"

"Yes?"

"Our swing set broke."

Johnny sighed. Six and a half year old Chris DeSoto was already sleeping on Johnny's sofa. Four and a half year old Jenny DeSoto, bedded down on Johnny's convertible chair, was wide awake. He was starting to wish he had refused to take care of the kids while Roy and Joanne went away for a romantic weekend. On the other hand, he had a growing respect for the trials of parenting - and a firmer conviction he was never going to be a parent.

Johnny forced a smile. "I'm sorry, hon. But now it's time to go to sleep, so we can go to the beach tomorrow." he started to get up from his sitting position on the floor, but Jenny caught his arm. One look at those lipid blue eyes stopped him in his tracks. He sat back down, ran a hand through his hair, and smiled again.

"So...your swing set broke."

Jenny peered at him anxiously. "I love you, Uncle Johnny. I really, really do."

"And I love you."

"You're my favorite uncle."

"and you're my - okay, whadaya want?"

"YOU know..."

Johnny's head dropped. He knew. And he didn't want to face it, not after his disastrous remodeling of the DeSoto's front yard.

"You want me to buy you a new swing set."

"No, I um...want you to BUILD us one."

"Oh, no. No, no, no."

"But, Uncle Johnny!"

"No way. Go to sleep."

As Johnny headed into his bedroom, he heard Chris whisper, "Jenny, you dork! I told you to cry!"

He stared at the ceiling. "You little sneaks," he thought. Then he headed back into the living room.

Christopher saw him coming. "Uncle Johnny, you're the best - "

"Yeah, yeah, I'm the bestest uncle in the whole world."

"Yeah!" Jenny chirped. "The bestest."

Johnny had to bite his lip to keep from laughing. He forced a serious look. "You two are incredible, you know that?"

"We are." Jenny beamed.

"That wasn't a compliment," Johnny replied, a small guffaw escaping his lips. "Okay. You two planned this. Good job, working together and all that, but the answer is no."

Jenny's lower lip quivered. "But our swing set broke."

Johnny felt his stance wavering. He shook himself. "Not gonna happen, Jen, so don't turn on the waterworks. G'night." He turned on his heel and walked away, grimacing as he pictured Jenny's angelic face, her eyes overspilling with tears. He closed the door to the bedroom and sank to the floor. From the other side of the door came Chris's voice.

"Forget it, Jenny. He closed the door."

"But our swing set - hiccup - did break."

"Daddy'll fix it."

but I want one like the Hoopers are gonna get."

"Me, too. but Daddy said no, and so did Uncle Johnny."

Johnny shook his head. "Gage, don't say yes, don't say yes, kids gotta learn disappointment, don't say yes, don't say yes, Uncle Johnny can say no, the kids'll still love ya, don't say yes, stay away from Alice, she'll kill ya, just go to sleep, no need to feel guilty, go to sleep, just lie down." Wearily, Johnny got up from the floor and dragged himself to bed. As he fell asleep, he knew one thing.

He was doomed.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

"So, ya stand with your back to the waves, but watch behind you, and when the next wave is almost hitting your back, lean forward and let the wave carry ya to shore. Ready?"

The kids nodded, big grins on their faces, the swing set request forgotten. Or so Johnny hoped.

The next wave approached, Johnny shouted "Go!" and they all leaned forward. Unfortunately, Jenny miscalculated, was flipped over, and swallowed some water, landing on the shore sputtering and crying. Johnny scooped her up, took her to the towels, and dried her off. Chris followed, a worried look on his face.

"Okay now?" Johnny asked, as he wiped the tears off her face, wishing he had something to get the snot off, too. Jenny solved the problem by eating it.

"I guess. But I wanna leave, Uncle Johnny," she whined. "Can we go somewhere else?"

"Chris, Whadaya think?" inquired Johnny, hoping that Jenny wouldn't tell her parents what happened, for fear he would be bawled out.

Chris shrugged a shoulder. "Sure."

Okay let's pack things up," Johnny replied.

They packed the Rover, got in, and headed back towards L.A. As they took a curve, a park came into view. Jenny screamed with delight.

"There, there! I wanna go there!"

Johnny cringed. "Jenny, don't scream like that! Okay, we'll stop here, geez." He pulled the Rover over, and before he could stop her, Jenny scrambled out and darted across the lot, in front of a car. Johnny ran after her and grabbed her. "Jenny, don't you EVER do that again. You wait for me, understand?" Jenny's eyes filled with tears and she nodded.

"You oughtta spank her," Chris offered helpfully.

"Spank her?" Johnny gulped. "But I - "

"Yeah that's what Daddy did when she ran out in the street."

"Well yeah, but I'm not - ya see, it's like - uh - oh, look! Swings."

Jenny wriggled out of his arms and ran toward the swings. Johnny yelled "Hey, I just told you - " and took off after her, Chris by his side, saying, "Told ya to spank her."

Jenny leapt onto a swing, and pumped her feet, strawberry blonde hair flying, as she yelled, "Push me, Uncle Johnny!" Johnny slowed to a walk as he was hit with guilt for turning the kids' request down.

"Geez, look at her. What's the big deal about Building a swing set? They probably have ready-to assemble kits. What kinda uncle says no to a simple request?" He came to a halt when Joanne's voice sounded in his subconscious:

"I told you not to spoil them!"

And Roy's face, nostrils flaring, skin reddening. His voice, so seldom raised, coming out in an enraged shout: "I'm the father, John! It's my job to build the swing set, it's your job to help, not the other way around! Got it?"

"Uncle Johnny, push me!" Jenny called again. Johnny awoke from his reverie and went to the swings. With each push his guilt grew, until he was drenched in cold sweat. He clenched his jaw to keep from blurting out the words that would relieve his guilt. And land him in a hornet's nest of anger from Roy. Maybe if he hadn't messed up that two week stay with the DeSotos. Perhaps if he hadn't rototilled and poisoned their front yard, only to replant it in its original design.

Maybe if he'd just learn to keep his big mouth shut.

"So Jen, ya like to swing?" He cringed as he waited for the answer.

"Yeah it's fun." Jenny jumped off the swing, landing feet first. Johnny caught the swing before it conked her on the head.

Chris's voice sounded from the slide, "Daddy told her not to do that."

"Thanks Chris," Johnny mumbled. "Jenny, hon, please be more careful."

Jenny smiled coyly at him. "Know what, Uncle Johnny?"

"What?"

"I'm gonna marry you."

"Yeah, well uh...maybe when you're a grownup, Jen, but now - "

"I know. When I'm seven."

Before Johnny could reply, Jenny was off again, climbing the steps to the monkey bars. "Uncle Johnny, lift me up. I can't reach."

Johnny hurried over. "Jenny, I think you're too little - " The words had barely left his mouth when Jenny leaned forward and fell off the top step, landing in his outstretched arms. She smiled.

"You can lift me up, now."

Johnny sighed and lifted her up. He spotted her as she flew across the monkey bars, letting go of the last one, slipping through his grasp, and landing on her feet. She grinned at him.

"I love the monkey bars."

"Oh, yeah?" Johnny replied absently, wondering how parents kept their brain cells from dying, taking care of kids day after day.

"Yeah, but - " Jenny stopped and burst into tears.

Johnny crouched down and hugged her. "Jen, what's wrong?"

"We don't have monkey bars at home," she wailed.

"How about your ole Uncle Johnny builds you some to go with your swing set?" Johnny gulped, aghast at his lack of control

Jenny hiccuped, then looked hopefully at him. "You'll build the swing set?"

"Sure, why not? Can't let my favorite girl be so sad." He smiled sickly as he thought about the mess he had just created.

Roy was gonna kill him. Then Joanne would kill him.

"Jenny smiled through her tears. "I love you, Uncle Johnny. I really, really do."

"No sweat."

"Can we go home now?"

"Uh sure, let's go. Chris, let's take off. How about some ice cream?"

"Okay, Uncle Johnny." Chris took Jenny's hand and walked her to the Rover. They settled in and Johnny slammed the door. He walked around the Rover mumbling, "Gage, you idiot. How the hell are you gonna tell Roy and Joanne? Stupid, stupid, stupid."

As Johnny was mumbling to himself, Jenny grinned at Chris. "Did I cry good?"

Chris grinned back. "you were great. Told ya crying would work."


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

"Daddy!" Jenny shrieked, as she leapt into Roy's arms. Roy staggered back a couple of steps, recovered, and set Jenny down. He smiled at Johnny.

"So, Junior. Everything okay?"

"Okay? Of course it's okay. Why wouldn't it be okay?" Johnny babbled.

"Uh, okay..." Roy responded doubtfully. "You didn't take the kids to Disneyland, did you?"

Johnny feigned insult. "No, we went to the beach and a park."

Jenny tugged on Roy's sleeve. "Daddy, Uncle Johnny is gonna - "

"Take a nap." Johnny grabbed Jenny and gave her a hug. He whispered, "Let me tell him, Sweetheart."

Jenny looked at him quizzically. "Why can't I tell him?"

"Tell me what?" Roy asked, his eyes narrowing.

"Oh, nothing, it's just, uh, well ya see, I kinda told the kids I'd build them a new uh, now don't get mad, I'd -"

"Junior, spit it out."

"Okay, I'd uh, I'd kinda - build 'em a new swing set." Johnny held Jenny in front of him like a shield, figuring Roy wouldn't kill him if he was holding her.

There was a short silence. Johnny waited for the yelling to begin.

Roy laughed. "Is that all?"

Johnny jumped. then a relieved laugh escaped him. "Uh, yeah. That's all."

Roy looked perplexed. "What are you so nervous about? It's just a kit. Sink the legs into the ground, set them with cement, add the cross bar, screw the rest of the set to it. and hook up the swings. I already bought the set."

"Well, ya see, I was talkin' with the kids and they said...ya know, Jenny...and Chris...yeah, both of 'em...and Jenny was cryin' and all..." Johnny stopped as an angry flush spread across Roy's face.

"Okay, John. The answer is no." Roy snatched Jenny from Johnny and started toward the door. Jenny wriggled free and ran back to Johnny, hiding behind him. She started sniffling, then crying, then wailing.

"But we want Uncle Johnny to-to-to build it and he said yeeeessss."

Roy was silent. Jenny, crying. Hiding from him. Oh, the pain.

Roy sighed. "Just what were you planning to build?"

"Well, ya see, we hadn't really got around to talkin' about that - "

"Monkey bars," Jenny interjected, as she wiped her nose on Johnny's jeans. Johnny pulled her away and handed her over to Roy, then grabbed a used napkin off his coffee able, knocking over Chris's half-eaten bowl of cereal, which poured onto Johnny's bare feet. He glared at Chris, then smiled apologetically at Roy.

"Yeah, ya see, Jenny really likes monkey bars, and I thought - well, she asked - I mean, uh...um...whadaya think? Monkey bars okay?"

Roy looked blank. "Monkey bars? Jenny never liked monkey bars before. And she's too short. She can't use them yet because she can't reach them."

"Uncle Johnny lifted me up and I did real good. Please, Daddy. Please?" Jenny sniffled.

Roy ignored her as his protective instincts were directed at Johnny. "You put her on the monkey bars? Are you nuts?"

"Yeah, and she almost drowned, too," Chris added.

"She almost WHAT?" Roy yelled, his normally cool demeanor shattered. Jenny started wailing again. "I almost drownded in the ocean when we went surfing."

"Body surfing, hon. Not uh..." Johnny glanced at Roy's enraged face. "real surfing." He grinned sheepishly. "She uh...she just flipped."

"I'll deal with you later," Roy fumed, as he grabbed His kids and headed for the door. Chris looked back at Johnny.

"Uncle Johnny, I had the best time."

"The bestest," Jenny howled. The door slammed shut, cutting off her words.

Johnny sighed, then turned to pick up Chris's cereal bowl. He stepped in soggy cereal, grinding it into the carpet.

"Oh great, just what I need." He started cleaning the carpet as he wondered whether Roy would ever speak with him again. Then he decided not to worry. After all, he'd done a lot worse things, and Roy had forgiven him. On the other hand, even Roy had his breaking point. But Roy had taken Jenny in the ocean, so it wasn't like Johnny had done something NEW. Of course, Roy only let her go in up to her ankles, but still. And the monkey bars. Okay, maybe that was a mistake. But he had spotted her and dang, that kid had athletic ability. Maybe she could be a gymnast.

Or maybe Johnny should keep his trap shut.

Meanwhile, Chris sat in the back seat of Joanne's station wagon, his fingers crossed, while he waited for the right moment to start manipulating his father. From the way his dad looked, now wasn't the time. Roy was gripping the steering wheel so tightly that his knuckles were turning white, in sharp contrast to the angry flush on his face. He pulled the station wagon into the driveway and silently let the kids out. They ran into the house, dropped their suitcases on the floor, and bounded up the stairs. Joanne opened the suitcases and scooped up their clothes, dumping sand on the living room carpet. She sighed, got out the vacuum cleaner, and got rid of the mess. She put the clothes back in the suitcases and carried them into them to the trash can in the backyard. She shook out the sandy clothes and dropped them into the washing machine in the garage. Roy stalked in and leaned against the dryer, staring darkly into space.

Joanne kissed Roy on the cheek. "Johnny?"

"Johnny. You won't believe what he wants to do this time."

"What?" she asked cautiously.

"Build a swing set and monkey bars in the backyard."

"Oh. The kids must have begged him. Wonder if Jenny pulled her crying act." She disappeared into the kitchen. Roy followed her. He started drying dishes and putting them away. Loudly.

Joanne caught his arm. "Hon, calm down. You told him no, I assume. Relax, he'll get over it."

Roy's head dropped. "I did. But Jenny was crying, and I started thinking, 'it's just a swing set and monkey bars. What harm could he do?' Then I thought of what might happen, and I got mad again. Then I felt guilty. Then I - "

"Sweetie, how about you and John build it together?" Joanne asked. "The problems John caused before were because he had no supervision."

"Together?" Roy asked doubtfully. "I dunno."

"How about you sleep on it?"

"Yeah, I suppose. I don't wanna alienate the guy. I just don't wanna let him loose in the back yard."

"So think about doing it together. You work together. Why not this?"

"I'll sleep on it," Roy replied, yawning. he started up the stairs, paused, then looked at Joanne. "Honey, don't you think..."

"Don't I think what?"

"Oh, I dunno. The word "jinxed" just popped into my head and I - "

"I know. That's why you should sleep on it. You're tired. You woke me up early this morning, remember?"

"Yeah," Roy grinned. Then he grew somber. "I'm gonna say yes, aren't I?"

"Hon...sleep on it."

Roy nodded and trudged up the stairs. Joanne heard him mumble, "I know I'm gonna say yes. And I'll regret it."


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

"Gage, how were your days off?" Chet peered round the corner when he heard Johnny's locker slam shut.

"Fine, Chet, fine. You?"

"Fine. Say, didn't you take care of the DeSoto kids?" Chet inquired, a predictably evil grin starting to appear.

Johnny opened his locker and pulled out a shirt. "Yeah, so what?"

"So..." Chet sauntered over to Johnny's locker and leaned against the open door. "Ya take 'em to IHop?"

Johnny shoved Chet out of the way. He then slammed the door on his hand. As he hopped around the locker room yelping, Chet laughed and disappeared.

The door to the locker room opened and Roy walked in, banging into Johnny. "What are you doing?"

"I - shit - slammed my locker door on my hand," Johnny replied, as he sat on the bench.

Roy crouched in front of him and looked at his hand. "You'll live," he announced, as he stood up and opened his locker.

"I KNOW that," Johnny responded, as he grabbed his boots and pulled them on. Then he remembered the conversation from the day before. "So uh...how ya doin'?"

"Fine," Roy replied, as he slung his shirt on and buttoned it. Then he turned and looked at Johnny. "So, Joanne had an idea."

"Oh yeah?" Johnny said, hoping fervently that Joanne's idea had nothing whatsoever to do with swings or monkey bars.

"Yeah, she thought that maybe we could build the swing set together."

"Together?"

"Yeah, she thought it would keep you...I mean, help if...look, she thinks it would keep you outta trouble and keep me from killin'ya." Roy studiously did not look at Johnny. He changed into the rest of his uniform while Johnny considered how to react.

Pleased?

Annoyed?

Grateful?

Insulted?

"So...you and me together, huh?" he responded noncommittally.

"Yeah." Roy tucked in his shirt and zipped his pants. "And I'm in charge."

"I suppose that might work," Johnny admitted. "As long as I can draw the schematic."

"Actually, the kids already drew one," Roy replied, grabbing his jacket.

"The kids? "But - "

"Well, it is going to be for them, so they get to work on it. Not that they'll get everything they want."

"What do they want?"

"Jen wants a castle."

"So we'll add a castle."

Roy slowly shook his head.

Johnny tried again. "A small castle."

Roy leaned closer. "No."

"But - "

"And Chris wants a treehouse, which means we'd have to build the entire thing around that oak tree."

"Ya know, that's actually not a bad - "

"No."

"But - "

"Junior, no."

"Okay, okay. I get the message. Your kids' swing set, your way."

Johnny left the locker room in search of doughnuts. He found some in the kitchen. He took one, stuffed half of it in his mouth, and poured a cup of coffee. As he sat down at the table, he came face to face to Chet and Marco, grinning at him.

"WHAT?"

"Oh, nothing," Chet smirked. "We just uh...heard what Roy said to you. It's gonna be interesting, you two tryin' to build a swing set. I mean, you work great on the job, but you are kinda a walking disaster area when it comes to the kids."

Oh, and you think you could do better?"

"I'd sure like to try."

"Fine, you're on!"

"Hey," Marco interjected. "If Chet is gonna be there, I wanna be there."

"Just bring your toolbox," Johnny replied. He jumped when he felt a hand on his shoulder. Gripping him, fingers digging into him.

"Johnny, can I have a word with you?"

"Uh, sure, Roy."

Roy turned on his heel and walked into the bay. Johnny followed guiltily.

"Roy opened the passenger door of the squad and motioned Johnny inside. He then walked around the front of the squad, glaring at Johnny, until he got into the driver's seat and slammed the door.

"Look, Roy - "

"No, YOU look. I only agreed to have you help me because the kids are counting on it. I'm not gonna have a whole committee arguing in my backyard."

"But - "

Roy abruptly opened the driver's door. "Tell them no. I don't care how you tell them. Just tell them no."

The tones sounded. "Squad 51, child injured, Harper Elementary School 690 East Broadway, 690 East Broadway, cross street Cowper, time out 9:07.

Roy grabbed the handset. "Squad 51, KMG 365." He climbed back into the squad, the argument forgotten.

The squad was waved through a gate in a chain link fence. It pulled into a playground, where two women were crouched over a child.

John and Roy pulled equipment, and hurried over to the child, a young boy, grimacing in pain, an ice pack on his knee. Roy crouched down.

"What happened?"

He fell off the monkey bars, " replied one of the women, tears running down her face. He just slipped. I - I told him not to crawl across the top of them - "

"I'm sorry, Miss Madison," the boy gasped.

"It's all right, Max," Miss Madison answered.

"It's his knee," interrupted the second woman.

"Max, did you hit your head?" Roy asked gently.

No, I landed on my knee. And it really hurts," was the tearful response.

"Don't worry, we're gonna take good care of you. Ladies, could you give us some room?" The women nodded and moved back.

Johnny got out the biophone while Roy removed the ice pack on the boy's knee and cut open his jeans leg to above the knee. He gently palpated the joint, which was rapidly becoming the size of a football. He grabbed the stethoscope and BP cuff and began taking vitals.

Meanwhile, as Johnny got Rampart on the line and waited for The vitals, he started to have second thoughts about the subject of monkey bars. Crawling on top of them? Sounded just like the kind of thing Jenny would do. And Chris would egg her on. Then she'd fall.

And he would never forgive himself.

"Johnny, hand me a leg splint, please."

Johnny found the leg splint and handed it to Roy. He smiled at the boy. "Hey, Max. How ya doin'?"

"Okay," Max said through his tears. You gonna arrest me, Officer?"

Johnny smiled. "Nope, we're firefighters, not police officers. But you need to follow playground rules from now on. Deal?"

Max nodded and sniffled, then grinned. Johnny began wondering if his firefighter wisdom went in one ear and out the other when it came to young victims.

It sure did when it came to Chris and Jenny.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

Johnny was unusually quiet on the ride back to the station, and Roy had a sneaking suspicion why. After waiting for him to explode, Roy decided to take a risk.

"Junior, what's on your mind?"

"Me? Nothing."

Roy considered whether to crack a joke at Johnny's expense, but now didn't seem like the right time.

"Come on, tell me. You will sooner or later."

"It's just..." Johnny turned and gazed out the passenger window. "How do you and Joanne do it?"

Yep. Roy knew what John's problem was. But he couldn't make it too obvious. "Do what?"

"Let your kids play on swings, monkey bars, skate boards - "

"Bikes, pogo sticks, trees - "

"Yeah. I'd be scared out of my mind all the time."

Roy laughed gently. "So Max takes a plunge and suddenly the world is full of dangers for my kids, huh?"

"Well, no, not really, well, okay, maybe I never thought about it before. But maybe we should forget the monkey bars."

An image of Jenny's face, tears and snot running down it, loomed in Johnny's mind. "No, wait. Just, huh...spot her, okay?"

"John, I never said we were building monkey bars. That was your cockeyed idea."

"Yeah, but the swings. You ever see how high that kid goes?"

"Yeah. She's a kid. Kids take risks."

"I know that, Roy, but - "

Roy saw an opening. "Junior, let's just forget it. The kids don't need a swing set."

The image of Jenny's face changed from tear soaked to sobbing. Johnny could hear her, could see her shoulders shaking, could see her about to heave. He shook his head in alarm. "No, no, let's not forget it," he shouted in Roy's ear.

Roy lurched away, banging his head on the driver's window. "Hey, watch it, would ya?"

The rest of the ride back to the station was a quiet one. When they pulled into the bay, Cap was sitting in the dayroom, reading the paper. He looked up and smiled at Roy. "So, Roy. Chet tells me you, John, and Marco are building your kids a playground. Need some help?"

"A PLAYGROUND?" Roy sputtered. "A swing set. Swings, rings, a slide. A playground? Where's Chet?"

"Uh, the back lot, helping Mike run a a check on the engine, "Cap replied. Roy left the dayroom in a huff.

Cap eyed Johnny. "What's with him?"

"He uh, he's a little stressed Cap. Ya see..." and the story came spilling out.

Meanwhile, Roy headed straight for Chet. "Okay, let's get one thing clear," he began.

"Hey Roy, I hear you're building your kids some kind of Disney type wonderland. You're gonna need a lot of help. Can I volunteer?" Mike interrupted.

"No. No Disney wonderland, no playground, just a swing set.. And I don't need any help. Period. Got it?"

"But Chet said - "

"Yeah, and Cap said, and John said."

"Okay, okay," Mike responded, backing away. "I was just offering to help. You don't have to bite my head off."

Roy'd had enough. He returned to the dayroom, where Johnny had just finished his tale, Cap glaring at him through eyes that had narrowed into slits, his chin in his hand, sighing with frustration. Roy elbowed Johnny out of the way.

"Cap, I need to talk to everyone. Now.

Cap nodded. "Yeah, it's getting out of control." he glared at Johnny. "Thanks to you."

"ME? But I - the kids - we - uh, yeah, okay it's my fault. But it was all done for the right reason. See the kids had this incredible idea..."

But Roy and Cap had disappeared.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six**

That night, Roy couldn't sleep. He had promised his kids a swing set. And Alice, his annoying, manipulative neighbor, had described what her beleaguered husband, Bruno, was going to build for their kids, arousing Roy's latent competitive nature. This wasn't guessing which horse would win at the races. This was real.

So what was the big deal? He liked to build. He sure was better at construction than Bruno. And he hated saying no to his kids.

But Chris wanted a treehouse, and Jenny wanted a princess castle. Wasn't that redundant?

Or could he get away with a pink treehouse?

No, Chris would spurn it.

And he didn't want Jenny falling out of the tree.

Or the swings, the slide the...monkey bars.

How the hell could he going to build such a monstrosity?

And why did he give into his kids so much?

For that matter, why did he give into Johnny that much?

A manipulate group they were, that's for sure.

He'd put up the backyard fence a while back. Got a lot of satisfaction from it, too. Alice had to climb on a ladder to spy on them.

He could picture it. His kids, playing on the new swing set with their friends during a neighborhood BBQ, the sun shining brightly, the scent of cooking food, the smiles, the fun.

The jealousy.

Roy finally fell into a restless sleep. The images of his kids, Johnny waving a hammer around, Chet's antics, his own thumb, banged and bruised, the neighbors gawking, their kids pleading for a similar swing set, swirled together. The swing set grew from a simple structure into a huge edifice, inching closer and closer to the house, until it bumped the house from its foundation, whereupon it fell into the street and imploded.

Roy awoke with a start. The morning tones had sounded. He pulled on his turnouts and stumbled into the kitchen.

Johnny was already there, drinking coffee. He rose, poured a cup for Roy, and handed it to him. Roy looked at him suspiciously. "What's this for?"

"Uh, nothing. Why?"

"What do you want?"

"Who, me? Nothing. Geez, why are you makin' such a big deal outta a cup of coffee?" Johnny threw Roy a hurt look and exited the dayroom into the lot behind the station. Roy sighed and followed.

He found Johnny looking morosely through his toolbox, something he took great pride in. He kept the toolbox as precisely organized as the drug box. His apartment was a mess, but his toolbox was immaculate.

Roy approached Johnny cautiously. "Uh...John?"

"Yeah?" Johnny replied, not looking up.

"John, I, uh...I been thinking."

"Yeah?"

"Maybe I was wrong."

"Johnny continued to study his tools, a smile starting to curl his lips upward.

Roy continued. "Yeah, maybe we should do that swing set-treehouse thing."

Johnny looked up. "Really?"

Roy sighed. "Really."

"You and me, or all of us?"

Roy took a deep breath. "Okay, all of us." He was going to regret it, but he might as well REALLY regret it. In any event, it was too late now.

Johnny grinned. "Pally, you won't be disappointed, We're gonna build the best swing set in the world. It'll be incredible. Your yard will be filled eith kids.

Roy's "Wait just a minute," was spoken into thin air, as Johnny rushed into the dayroom and told the rest of the crew. Roy followed, and was greeted by Marco, Mike, and Chet, all offering suggestions as to which way to proceed.

"Roy, I been thinkin' about this," Marco yelled above the other voices." I got a plan, it's all in my head, and I think - "

"Oh, who care what you think - "Chet said, shoving him aside. "Ya know, Roy, the kids need a tire to swing on. I remember - "

"Yeah, a tire is good, but we really oughta - " Mike said from behind Chet.

"Guys, pipe down," Cap interrupted.

The chattering stopped.

Roy's head was spinning. "Now, listen. I'm the one - the ONLY one - in charge. Got it?"

The crew nodded.

"All right." Roy left the dayroom, went to the locker room, shed his clothes, and climbed into the shower. He stood under the water, cursing himself.

Someone tapped on the shower door.

"What?" Roy snarled.

"Roy, you won't regret it," came Johnny's voice from the other side of the door.

Roy opened the door a crack and peered out. "I'm in charge. Just remember that," he growled.

"Uh, sure Roy, whatever you say." Johnny quietly closed the door and tiptoed out of the locker room.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven**

"Oomph!"

The wind was knocked out of Roy the next morning, when the kids leapt onto him. He glanced at the clock. Six thirty. Was he ever going to sleep late again? At least the kids were past the age where they threw a morning tantrum until they were fed. But still. Didn't a man have a right to sleep past seven in the morning sometimes?

"Daddy, Uncle Johnny is coming by today," Jenny said, as her hair fell on Roy's face. He tucked it behind her ear as he smiled...cheerily, he hoped.

"Yes - "

"And Uncle Hank, Uncle Marco, Uncle Mike and Uncle Chet," Chris reminded her.

"Uncle Chet is funny. But Uncle Johnny is more funnier," Jenny declared, with all the surety of a four year old.

Roy struggled to sit up. The kids slid from his chest to the bed next to him. He glanced over and noticed Joanne had already risen. The scent of coffee and bacon drifted up the stairs. He was reminded that Joanne almost always rose before him. He had a momentary flash of guilt.

"Now look, kids," he began. "Remember. This is a grownup job. You can help, but we're gonna be using sharp tools. And it won't be finished today."

"Tomorrow!" Jenny declared.

"Breakfast!" Joanne called.

Roy pulled on a robe and stumbled downstairs. Joanne handed him a mug of coffee the moment he walked into the kitchen. She glanced at him before turning her attention to the frying bacon.

"Hon, Johnny stopped by."

Roy sighed. "Johnny? What did he want?"

"He made up a shopping list. Said he would go over to the lumber yard when it opens and pick out the lumber. Oh, and he wanted to what kind of hardware we've got. You know, screws, nuts, bolts, that kind of thing. I told him you were sleeping and to come back this afternoon."

Roy plunked himself down at the table and held his head in his hands. "He's too much. I gotta call him off." Roy stood walked to the avocado green phone and dialed Johnny's number. It was picked up on the third ring.

"Hello?"

"Johnny, you need to back off. I haven't even thought about what to buy. And what's the big idea, coming by so early? It's my day off!"

"Hey, it's my day off, too! Just tryin' to help. I'll come back this afternoon. Is that okay?"

"Yes, but - "

"Meanwhile, I'll draw up a schematic."

"But - "

"We're all doing one. Then you can pick the one you like best."

"Johnny, I've decided to keep it simple. Swings, a slide, a treehouse."

There was a short pause.

"Oh."

"Yeah, so - "

"How big a treehouse?"

John, I haven't had my break - "

"I was thinkin' we could do a treehouse for Chris, and a little princess cottage, on the ground for - "

Roy hung up. He sat down at the table again. Joanne placed a plate of bacon and eggs in front of him. "You know hon, it's really sweet for the entire shift to want to help you like this."

He glared at her. "Ya think so, huh."

Joanne took a sip of coffee. "Yes, I do. And I was thinking that a little princess cottage would be - "

"How do you know about that?"

"John told me when he stopped by."

Jenny came rushing in. "A princess castle? Oh Daddy, I love you!"

Roy smiled weakly. "Yeah. But not a castle. A cottage. A SMALL cottage."

"Will you paint it pink?"

Roy's head dropped. "Sure, why not?"

Jenny rushed out. "CHRIS, GUESS WHAT? YOU'RE GETTING A TREEHOUSE AND I'M GETTING A PRINCESS CASTLE! PINK!"

Roy picked up a piece of bacon and bit savagely into it. "I was gonna build a seat all around that tree, you know."

I know, and you were going to build me an arbor, too. But kids have a way of disrupting plans." Joanne leaned down, gave Roy a kiss and called the kids. They came barreling into the kitchen.

Roy couldn't help but smile. God, he loved those kids. Okay, so he'd build them a great swing set, a tree house, and a princess cottage. Maybe a rope bridge from the cottage to the tree. If he could swing it, he could get a telescope into the treehouse so he and Chris could gaze at the stars. That would mean he'd have to make the treehouse big enough for an adult. Maybe, just maybe, this was going to be okay.

Roy got up, walked to the den, fetched a piece of graph paper and a pencil, returned to the kitchen, and started drawing. Yeah, this was gonna turn out all right. And he'd show Alice. He'd build something bigger and better than Bruno ever could. That would prove who was the better father, yes sir. It would stop her little biting remarks to his wife once and for all.

Joanne peeked over his shoulder. "Uh, Roy?"

"Uh huh?"

"Is that the plan for the swing set?"

Roy kept drawing. "Yep."

Joanne pointed at one section. "What's that?"

"A rope bridge from the cottage to the tree, so the kids can get to the ladder up to the tree house."

"A rope bridge."

"Yeah. I was thinking of makin' it the ladder up tp the tree house, but I changed my mind." He looked up and grinned. "This'll show Alice. And I bet Bruno won't have a whole work crew, either."

"Roy, come on. Don't get competitive with Alice."

Roy shot Joanne a positively evil look. "I finally found something that will make her shut up once and for all." He grabbed his jacket, and headed for the door. "I'll be back. I'm gonna go look at some chains."

"CHAINS?"

Roy paused at the door and smiled. "For the swings, hon. The swings."


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight**

"Okay, wait'll you see this." Marco rushed into Roy's house and shoved a schematic in his face. This is what I planned in my head. Pretty good huh?"

"Uh yeah, Marco, pretty good." Roy walked over to the window overlooking the back yard and gazed outside. "Listen, I paced off my idea earlier, and I appreciate what you've done, but - "

The doorbell rang. Sighing, Roy answered it, expecting to see another overly enthused crew mate. Instead, he found his neighbor Alice Hooper, smiling sweetly, her hair perfect, dressed to the nines, manipulation in her beautiful eyes.

"Hello Roy," she purred in her sexy voice. "May I come in for a moment?"

Silently, Roy stood aside and motioned her into the living room. She smiled at Marco and extended her manicured hand. "Hello. I'm Alice."

Marco gulped and gently took her hand. "I'm Marco. Lopez. I'm a firefighter," he added, unnecessarily.

Roy yanked him aside and hissed, "She's married," before motioning Alice into a chair and sitting on the sofa. He glanced around for Joanne, conspicuous by her absence. "What can I do for you, Alice?"

Alice adjusted her skirt, the slit opening to give both Roy and Marco a view of her perfect legs. She smiled. "My girls tell me you are going to build your kids quite the swing set. Your kids were bragging. Now Roy, I don't mean to tell you how to raise your family, but bragging is just not something I can allow in my house."

"Got it. I'll talk to them." Roy stood. Thanks for coming by, but we have to - "

"Oh, and Roy - "

Roy sighed. "Yes?"

Please don't make this a..." She paused for effect. "A competition."

"What?"

"two swing sets next door to each other. You're competing for playmates for the kids. Well, my girls are very close friends with the entire neighborhood." She smiled a saccharine smile.

Roy's hackles were raised. "We'll just have to agree to disagree on that. My kids are just fine. And the swing set...has nothing to do with what Bruno is building.

Alice rose. "If you say so, Roy." She slinked to the door. Roy opened it and ushered her through. She paused on the threshold and called back into the house. "Nice to meet you, Marco." She leaned into Roy and smiled conspiratorially. "Hope he's not a good friend. People like that...no offense...drive down property values."

Roy drew back in disgust. He knew Alice was impossible, but a racist to boot?

Alice started down the walkway just as Johnny drove up. He glanced at her, gunned his motor, and drove away. Roy chuckled. "Good man, Junior. Stay out of her way."

He grimaced as Mike drove up, got out of his car and gaped at Alice. Mike's eyes followed her down the walkway, across to her house, and up her driveway, where she paused, and wiggled her fingers in a wave toward him. He gulped, waved back, and walked up the DeSoto walkway in a daze. He stared at Roy. "That's some neighbor you have, Roy. She's -

"Married." Roy interjected.

"Oh," Mike replied, visibly deflated.

"Can I have your schematic?" Roy asked, to change the subject.

I uh, left it in the car." He went back out and retrieved his schematic, just as Johnny arrived again. Johnny opened the Rover's window, looked around, exited the Rover, checked to make sure the coast was clear, and ran up to the DeSoto house. He cleared the porch steps in one bound, flew into the house, and slammed the door.

"what was Alice doin' here?"

Roy chuckled ironically. "She told me the kids were bragging about what we're going to build."

"Oh. Oh well, they shouldn't oughtta do that." Johnny looked around. Where's Joanne?"

"Hiding, probably. You brought a schematic, I suppose," Roy replied, holding out his hand for the inevitable.

Just then, Mike came in, followed by Cap. "I'm telling ya, Cap, she's the most amazing looking woman. And she lives right next door."

Roy and Johnny opened their mouths to object when Chet appeared. Who's the most amazing woman?"

"Alice Hoover. And she's not amazing. She's a snake-in-the-grass. Keep your distance," warned Johnny.

"Struck out, John?" Chet, Marco, and Mike said simultaneously.

"Look guys, Johnny's right. Now, can we get down to business, please?"

"Good idea. I brought some materials." Johnny began.

"Materials? You brought materials? But - "

"Yeah, we gotta build sawhorses."

"I HAVE a sawhorse."

"Not for YOU. For the kids."

"The kids? Now they need sawhorses? Geez John, I think - "

"No really Roy, it's safer for them to work at kid level. Besides, they'll double as step stools for us."

An image of Alice, her kids, and the beleaguered, yet sharp-tongued husband, Bruno, appeared in Roy's mind. "Kid size sawhorses huh?"

"Yeah, and do you have fifteen inch saws? They're the best size for kids."

"He's right, Roy," Cap interjected. "When I would build with my kids - "

"Yeah, okay, sawhorses. And I got a fifteen inch saw," Roy responded, trying to take charge again. "But they'll have to share. No need to have two of every - "

"No problem," Marco spouted, "I got an extra fifteen inch you can have."

"Hey, I already bought them two!" Johnny argued. "You can't just come here and - "

"I got one they can have. Bit rusty," Chet offered.

"I have one, too. NOT rusty," Mike slipped in quietly. "Looks like you have your pick."

Roy looked around at all the eager faces. He glanced at Cap for guidance. Cap was no help. He just waited for Roy's response, a small smile on his face, as though he was happy this was one decision he was not going to have to make.

"Okay..." Roy said slowly. "We're gonna...draw straws."


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine**

Chet won, much to the consternation of the other crew members, who vehemently protested a child using a rusty saw.

Chet rolled his eyes. "I'm gonna clean the rust off, you guys."

"You'd better," Marco said under his breath.

"Hey, what am I gonna do with the two I bought?" Johnny asked, his eyebrows knit together in frustration.

"Oh, Roy, careful. Gage's eyebrows are doin' that thing they do when he's angry."

A giggle sounded from above. The men looked up to see Chris and Jenny watching them from the upper landing, their mother standing behind them with a dubious look on her face. She came down the stairs, greeted the crew, took Roy's arm, and walked him into the kitchen. As the door closed, an argument broke out in the living room about whether Chet could get his saw in working order for the kids, where the heck did Johnny put the receipt for the saws he'd purchased, and why was his disorganization anyone else's problem?

"Roy, hon," Joanne began gently. "Saws? They are four and six years old. Should they really be sawing? I mean, Jenny still runs with scissors. Now you want to give them saws?"

"Not give them saws," Roy replied. "Teach them to saw. There's a difference."

"Which is?"

"Respect for tools."

"Sweetie, you have a table saw in the garage. Why can't you use that? You do the sawing, the guys do the hammering."

"You don't think I already considered that?" Roy responded in a huff. "But I'm gonna be teaching the kids tool safety, and you don't start out with power tools, you start out with - "

"Chet, you nincompoop! This saw is useless. God, why do you keep this junk? Jenny, hon, give me the saw."

Joanne's face turned white. She rushed from the kitchen. Johnny was holding Chet's saw. He smiled at Joanne. "No harm done. She had it by the handle. Ya know, with some guidance, this kid'll be building her own stuff soon."

Joanne smiled. "Guidance, right." She returned to the kitchen. "Okay, you can teach them tool safety. But JUST you. No one else."

Roy laughed. "Honey, these guys use tools all the time on the job. It's what they DO. They even use saws. You can trust them."

A small smile appeared on Joanne's face. "Do YOU?"

"Well, yeah. I just don't want this project taken over by them. I gotta get back in there." He exited the kitchen. Joanne sank into a kitchen chair.

"And I suppose I'd better start making sandwiches." She opened the fridge and gazed inside. "Just ONCE I wish they would bring the food. Just ONCE."

Out in the living room, Cap had brought the arguing to a halt. He gestured to Roy. "All yours."

Roy took a deep breath. "All right. First off, we are not building the kids sawhorses."

"But - "

"And Joanne and I agree that I should be the only one to supervise them using saws. You guys can help them hammer, screw, teach them about nuts and bolts, other hardware. Got it?"

The group slumped in defeat.

"How about cement? Can we teach them about that?" Mike asked, slightly resentfully.

"Yeah, and Roy, ya got two kids. How ya gonna supervise them both sawing?" Marco added.

Roy took a deep breath. "I will do that because we are only gonna use one fifteen inch saw. Mine."

"Yours? But I bought - "

"Yes. And you can return them."

"I dropped the receipt in the parking lot," Johnny mumbled.

"And that is not my problem, John. I've told you to keep your receipts in order." Roy could feel his dignity returning, his ability to control his life and his project growing stronger. "Now, how about we - "

"Look at schematics! We all brought one!" Marco exclaimed enthusiastically.

"Not me," Cap declared.

"Marco," Roy gently interjected. "I told you that I already paced off - "

"Geez DeSoto, you could at least look at them," Chet urged him. "After all we did take the time to draw them up, and - "

"Hey, I already HAVE a schematic," Roy said, grabbing it off the coffee table. The men crowded around him, studying it.

"Is that a rope ladder?"

"Yeah.

"Roy, uh...rope ladders are kinda dangerous," Johnny offered quietly. "Little kids don't have the best balance, if ya know what I mean.

Roy had to admit John was right. "Okay, we'll scrap the rope ladder."

Mike pointed at the schematic. "Why is the treehouse so big?"

"So Chris and I can use a telescope - "

"Chris and you? You're building an adult size treehouse? Will the tree bear that weight?" Cap asked, rumpling his hair.

"Well, I...haven't checked that yet, "Roy admitted. I was just thinkin' of Chris and me - " He looked around at his friends, checked the schematic, sighed, and smiled.

"Can I see your schematics?"


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter Ten**

Four hours later, Roy had a completed schematic, which partially pleased everyone. Including himself. Jenny was thrilled, Chris was confused.

"Daddy, it has monkey bars! You said I couldn't have those."

Roy picked Jenny up and sat her in his lap. "I know, but Uncle Mike designed them so I can adjust the height. Lower when you're small, higher when you've grown. Got it?"

Jenny looked at him and frowned. "No. Are you gonna make them, Daddy?"

"Well yes, but they'll be low. Get it?"

"Did Uncle Mike draw them?"

"Yep."

Jenny wiggled down from Roy's lap and threw her arms around Milke. "Uncle Mike, you're the bestest!"

Johnny tapped her on the shoulder. "Hey, what about me?" Jenny swatted his hand away.

Chet guffawed. "Looks like you've been unseated, Uncle Johnny."

"Oh, yeah? We'll just see about that!" He tapped Jenny's shoulder again. "Honey, I designed the swings and half the princess castle. Don't I get a hug?"

Jenny shook her head at him, then continued hugging Mike. Mike glanced at Johnny and shrugged, lifting Jenny up with his shoulders. Johnny sighed.

Chris was studying the schematic. "Dad, is the treehouse smaller?"

"Uh, yeah. I decided it should be kid-size. You know, no grownups allowed."

Chris's eyes lit up. "Can we make a sign abouy that?"

"Sure, why not. But you know, in an emergency, you'll have to let a grownup in."

Chris looked confused. "What kind of emergency?"

"You know, if someone is sick or hurt."

"Okay, but only then. I don't want no grownups hanging around. "

Roy's dream of watching the stars with Chris, sitting int he treehouse - even scrunching up in the treehouse - vanished like the early morning California fog. Poof. Gone. He stood up and stretched. "I'm gonna go to the lumberyard."

"Can I come? I'll draw up a supply list," Marco offered.

"Thanks, Marco, but I can handle this on my own."

"Wait, what kind of wood are you getting?" Johnny inquired.

"Plywood. Why?"

"Roy, dontcha think redwood would be better?"

"No. I can't afford anything but plywood. Unless you're offering to pay for something else," Roy replied, his frustration level rising again.

"Uh, no," Johnny responded, leaning away. "I already paid for the saws."

"Well, find the receipt and return them."

"But Roy, higher quality wood would last longer. Ya gotta think about the grandkids."

Chet jumped in. "Ya know Roy, Gage has a point. Listen, why don't we all come with you? Six heads are better than one."

"Not me, guys," Cap declared. "I've got a pile of paperwork to do."

"Me either," said Mike, as he gently removed Jenny's arms from around his neck. I got a date."

"Okay, four heads," Chet said, jumping up.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! I think I can handle this by myself," Roy sputtered.

"Hon," Joanne called from the dining room. "Don't forget that I need the station wagon. I'm taking the kids to a birthday party.

"See? Now ya DO need us," Chet beamed, a dangerous gleam in his eye. "I'll drive."

"You? In that pile of junk you call a car? It'll never make it. We'll take the Rover."

"I don't care which car we take, I just want to help," Marco declared, a bit exasperated by the delay. "Look, can I start drawing up a list?" Silently, Roy handed him the schematic. Marco disappeared into the kitchen.

"So DeSoto, which car? Mine or Gage's?"

"John's"

"You'll never get the supplies in the Rover with four guys in it. See? You need - "

"Fine. You and I will ride in Marco's car."

Chet's face fell. Johnny clapped him on the back. "Now YOU'VE been unseated, Kelly."

"Oh, yeah? Just wait till we start using power tools, Gage. I can drill faster - "

Roy held up a hand in Chet's face. "Nope. No power tools."

Chet shoved Roy's hand away. "Whadaya mean, no power tools?"

"I got kids, Chet. You forget? No power tools. They gotta learn the basics first."

"But it'll take forever."

Johnny snickered. "You never been around kids, have ya, Chet? Ya gotta start 'em off slow and simple. I know these kids and - "

"Johnny, shut up," Roy interrupted. "They're my kids. Don't speak for me."

"I'm not speaking for ya. Its just - "

Roy'd had enough. He jumped up, stomped to the front door, and threw it open. "Out! Everybody out!"

Marco came out of the kitchen and handed the shopping list to Roy. "Time to go."

"Nope, out. All of you."

One by one, the crew shuffled out. Roy slammed the door, leaned against it, and looked at Joanne, his face tired and defeated. Jenny came over to him and looked up at him.

"Daddy, you gonna make the swing set today?"

Roy looked down at her and patted her on the head. "Not today, sweetie."

"You have a fight with the uncles?"

"No...just a couple of disagreements. We'll sort it out." He started up the stairs, turned, and looked grimly at Joanne. "Really sweet of the whole shift to help, huh? at this rate the kids'll be teens by the time we finish."

"If you use power tools - "

"No."

"Honey, just keep the kids away. You do that all the time when you - "

"Okay, okay, I'll think about it." He took another step, turned back again, and sighed.

I think I'm in trouble. Big, big trouble."


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter Eleven**

"So Roy...ya buy the supplies?" Marco asked, as Roy arrived at Fifty-Ones.

Roy opened his locker, unbuttoned his shirt, slipped out of it, reached over his shoulder to scratch an itch on his back, and hung up his shirt. He pulled out his uniform shirt and slung it on. "Yeah I went to the lumber yard last night. And I was thinking - "

"Hey Roy, how ya doin' there, Pal?" Cap asked, as he walked into the locker room, patted Roy on the back, and continued walking.

"Fine, Cap, just fine," Roy responded, as Cap rounded the corner and disappeared into the dayroom, passing Chet and Mike, who were on their way to their lockers. Mike ackowledged Roy's presence with a brief nod. Chet opened his locker, leaned on the door, and stared at Roy.

"Look, DeSoto. If ya don't want us to help, just say the word, It's not like we ain't got other things to do."

Roy shook his head as he shed his pants, hung them up, and pulled out his uniform pants. He brushed an ant off of one leg, and pulled them on. "Chet, it's not that I don't want your help. It's just that I was overwhelmed - "

'Overwhelmed? You?' Johnny snorted, as he snuck up behind Roy, making him jump with surpriese. "Roy, i have never seen you overwhelmed - "

"I hide it at work, but this is different. It's about my kids John, and parenting is different than - wait a minute, everybody just stop!" he demanded. A silence fell. Now, look. Like I said, you can all help, but who's in charge?"

"You," the group responded sheepishly.

"Okay. Now, I got the suppkies, and I heard what you said about power tools, and Joanne kinda agrees with you - "

Chet snickered. Roy fixed a steely gaze on him, and the snicker turned into a cough. "But I'm still thinking about it. So, no pressure."

"Okay, okay," the group mumbled. They all started changing, except for Marco, who reached into his locker, pulled out a another schematic, and handed it to Roy.

"I had a new idea, but since you've already bought the supplies..."

Roy glanced at the schematic, then sat down on the bench and studied it more closely. "This isn't bad, Marco. You know, I think - "

"Oh, shit!" Johnny yelled. He pulled out an ant covered, half-eaten banana from his locker.

Cap came running, took one look at the infested fruit, and said, "Gage, you're on ant patrol. I want this station cleared of the 'em. Got it?"

"But Cap, I'm - "

The klaxons sounded. "Station 51, unknown type rescue, 5122 West Velmore, five one two two West Velmore, cross steet Holland, time out 8;17."

The men scrambed into their uniforms, ran into the bay, checked the map, and climbed aboard their vehicles. As the squad pulled out of the bay, Johnny sighed. "I hate unknown rescues. I like to have an idea of what's waitin' for me at the scene."

Roy chuckled. "Not knowing is part of the glamour, Junior. Didn't anyone ever tell you that?"

"Glamour? What glamour?"

"Yeah, all those civilians who admire us, who think our jobs are a never-anding source of excitement. Like cleaning up after ants, for example."

"Very funny," Johnny mumbled.

The squad pulled up in front of the scene, a large Victorian house on a quiet street. Quiet except for the screams coming from the garage. Cap, Marco, and Chet ran into the garage; Roy and John followed with the medical supplies and biophone.

A man was standing at his workbench, groaning in pain. His screaming wife was holding an electric drill over his hand. She kept repeating, "He drilled into his hand, he drilled into his hand!"

the drill bit had gone all the way through his hand, and the drill was still running. Cap unplugged it, and the drill stopped. Bits of flesh and bone lay on the workbench around the man's hand. The man's legs buckled; Chet shoved a bench under him and lowered him into it.

Roy smiled at the man. "Hi, I'm Roy DeSoto, and I'm a paramedic with the Los Angeles County Fire Department. Let's see what we can do here. Cap, would you just take the drill, and hold it steady, please?"

"I need a doctor," the man said through clenched teeth.

"Yes sir, and we're gonna take you to the hospital as soon as we get you checked out here." He leaned over to look at the chuck holding the drill bit. "Let's get the bit outta the chuck," he murmered, his forehead wrinkled with concentration. His fingers found the chuck, and he tried to release it. No luck. Gently, he turned the man's hand on its side, and rested it on the table. "Cap, just keep that level with his hand, okay?"

"You got it, Pal."

Roy nodded reassuringly at the man. You're gonna be okay. I'm just gonna confer with my partner, here." He grabbed Johnny's arm and pulled him outside. "John, the chuck is stuck closed. I can't get the bit out."

"You can't get the bit out? Oh, my God!" the wife screamed from behind Roy. Johnny took her hand.

"You gotta calm down! You're not helping your husband when you get upset. Calm down, now."

She shuddered, then nodded. "I'll - I'll try."

Johnny turned back to Roy. "Lemme give it a try." He transferred the wife's hand to Roy, then took a look at the drill. As he was feeling for the chuck, the man let out another groan.

"I need a doctor."

"Yes sir, but let's get this drill bit outta the chuck first," Johnny responded. There was a loud CLICK, and the drill head was released. Cap backed away, as Johnny grabbed the BP cuff and wrapped it around the man's arm. "Just gonna get your vitals here - "

"Get me a damn doctor!"

Johnny glanced at Roy, who was establishing connection with Rampart. "We're doing that now, sir. Just hang on. What's your name?"

"Barry. And it hurts, damn it! Do something already. What's the matter with you?"

"Roy, vitals are: BP 170 over 90, pulse 90 and bounding, respirations 34 and shallow. Patiend is diaphoretic - "

"It hurts! Do something, you idiot!"

"And in extreme pain."

Roy relayed the information. The phone crackled. Morton's voice sounded in the garage. "Fifty-One, is there significant bleeding?"

"Negative, Rampart."

"Start an IV with D5W, administer 5mgs. MS IV, splint the arm, and transport as soon as possible."

Roy nodded at Johnny. "Ten-Four, Rampart." He dropped the phone, opened the drug box and grabbed the supplies. He ripped open the D5W, swabbed down Barry's arm, and inserted the IV catheter. Johnny injected the morphine, and smiled at the man. "This'll help the pain."

"It's about time," the man responded.

"Yes sir."

The ambulance arrived. Barry was put on a stretcher and loaded into the ambulence. Roy grabbed the biophone and drug box. "I'll ride in with him, John."

Johnny sighed with relief. He climbed into the squad, and followed the ambulance to Rampart.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter Twelve**

"So, pull the damn thing out already," Barry demanded.

Kel Brackett glanced at Dixie McCall. "Portable x-ray, stat. And notify Orthopedics."

"Already done," Dixie responded.

Kel smiled his thanks and turned back to Barry. "How did this happen?"

"Does it matter?" Barry snapped.

"Yes. That's why I'm asking."

"Fine. I was checking to see if the bit was in straight. I held it against my hand, and accidently hit the trigger. Or whatever it's called. Then my stupid wife shows up, and she keeps running it. Then the paramedics start fumbling with the thing, and don't even give me anything for the pain until they've messed around with the bit, trying to get it out of the...the thing they called the chuck. I TOLD them it hurt. I'm gonna file a complaint."

Kel glanced at Dixie again. "Barry, the paramedics were just doing their jobs. They can't give you anything for the pain unless instructed to by a doctor here. Now, why don't you try to relax - "

"Don't you tell ME to relax! You don't have a drill bit through your hand."

The portable x-ray and technicians arrived. Kel told them which views he wanted, then he and Dixie left the exam room. Johnny and Roy were standing by Dixie's station. checking supplies. Johnny shook his head as they approached.

"Some nice guy there, huh Doc?"

"Oh, yeah, a real charmer," Kel responded.

"So," Johnny continued, "He say how it happened?"

"Yeah. He was holding the bit against his hand, trying to see if it was in straight. Then he accidentally started running it. I don't think he's got much experience."

"Uh John, I'll be in the squad," Roy mumbled. He walked away, his shoulders hunched.

"Johnny, is he okay?" Dixie asked, as she watched Roy's retreating back.

"Him? Uh, yeah. It's just that we're, uh, gonna build his kids a treehouse thing, and we were disagreeing about using power tools around his kids and all."

"Power tools? And kids?" Kel asked dubiously. "Roy is gonna have his kids use power tools?"

"Well no, not exactly. Ya see, Chet was talkin' about how fast he could drill, but I told him - then after we left, Joanne - well, I don't really know what Joanne said..." Johnny's voice trailed off. He slapped his neck, looked at his hand, found a dead ant, and handed it to Dixie.

"Gee Johnny. Thanks. " Dixie rolled her eyes.

"Uh, sorry. Gotta go."

Johnny started to walk away. Kel caught his arm. "Johnny, tell Roy - no power tools. I don't want to see either of his kids here because of an accident like - "

"OUCH! Careful, you idiot!" came Barry's voice from the exam room.

"Sure, Doc. I'll uh...I'll tell him. Good luck with Barry." Johnny turned and walked briskly down the hall.

Kel shook his head. "A treehouse. Bet it'll be a doozy."

"Yeah," Dixie responded, as she wiped the ant off her hand. "If they don't kill each other first."

Johhny loaded the drug box into the squad and climbed into the shotgun seat. Roy was staring out the window, chewing on his forefinger.

"Hey Roy. What's with the new habit?"

"What? Oh, that. I do it sometimes when I'm - I'm - "

'Overwhelmed."

"Yeah." Roy started the engine. "Now mind your own business." He pulled away from the ER, took the turn out of the lot, and headed back toward the station. After riding in silence for a few minutes, Johnny couldn't stand it any longer.

"Roy, listen. We'll do as you say. No more arguing."

"And no power tools."

"Yeah. Barry, he was quite a trip, man."

"Yeah." Roy was silent a moment. Then he pulled over and stopped the engine. "How'd this get away from me? I mean, we work together every shift. what's different about this?"

Johnny thought a moment, then snapped his fingers. "Cap. He's not in charge. See, your problem is, you're just not a natural leader."

Roy started the engine and pulled into the traffic. Johnny continued.

"This is how I figure it. To be a leader, ya gotta have a certain kind of personality. Be a take-charge kinda guy."

"And you're saying I'm not."

"Well, what I'm sayin' is that ya don't have, I mean a lot of times ya do, but sometimes ya don't, although I wouldn't say that ya got, ya know, an air of authority about ya...well, like, ya know what I mean?"

Roy kept his eyes on the road. His hands tightened on the steering wheel, so he wouldn't whap Johnny on the side of his head.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter Thirteen**

Chet was gazing into the refrigerator, Marco was sitting at the table reading, Mike was mopping the floor, and Cap was sitting on the sofa studying a manual, when John and Roy returned to the station.

"How'd it go, guys? Barry keep complaining?" Chet inquired.

Johnny chuckled. "I'd complain too, if I'd drilled though my hand. Man, that must hurt like - "

"Marco, I'd like to take another look at your schematic," Roy interrupted.

"What? Oh, sure. I'll go get it," Marco responded, rising from the table and disappearing into the locker room.

"Hey, what's on that schematic, anyway?" Johnny asked.

""I'll show you later," Roy said, as he starting walking out of the dayroom.

"Wait a minute, wait a minute," Johnny protested. "What's so secret?"

Roy looked at Johnny, exasperated. "Nothing. I just want to study it. I'll be back." He disappeared.

Chet snickered. "Betcha Marco redesigned all the parts you did, Gage."

"Oh, stick a sock in it, Kelly. Nobody asked you - "

"Hey, I have a right to my opinion, John."

"Says who?"

"Guys, please. Find something else to do," Cap interjected.

"Okay, sure Cap," Johnny mumbled. He strolled over to the table and picked up Marco's book. "Hey, this is in Spanish."

Chet closed the refrigerator, walked over to Johnny, and glanced at the book. "It's Dickins."

"How would you know? You don't read Spanish," Johnny laughed.

"Gage, it says 'Charles Dickens' on the cover. In English."

"Oh. Well. But you don't know which novel it is."

"It's 'A Tale Of Two Cities.' Marco told me."

"Guys? Find something USEFUL to do. John, have you started cleaning up those ants?"

"Yeah, move it. I'm trying to mop here," Mike insisted.

"Uh, I'll get right on it, Cap,' Johnny said, glad to have an excuse to get into the locker room and sneak a peak at Marco's schematic. He grabbed a mop, a bucket, and some disinfectant from the bay's utility closet before going into the locker room. Unfortunately, when he arrived, the room was empty. He sighed as he surveyed the ants, which were now scattered throughout the locker room. He suddenly remembered the banana was still in his locker. He pulled it out, feeling the ants crawling up his arm. He ran out of the locker room to the back of the bay and out to the back lot. He dropped the banana in the garbage, shook his arms, rinsed his hands, and headed back toward the locker room. As he was walking by the squad, Roy came around the front bumper and they banged into each other. The schematic Roy was carrying dropped to the ground. Before Roy could reach for it, Johnny had snatched it up and unfurled it on the hood of the squad. He stared at it. "Roy, is this - "

The klaxons sounded. "Squad 51, back injury, 2734 Harcourt, two seven three four Harcourt, cross street Meadow, time out out 10:37."

Cap ran into the bay as Roy and Johnny climbed into the squad. "Squad 51, KMG 365." He grabbed the schematic and handed the address to Roy, who handed it to Johnny.

Johnny pulled out a map. "Five blocks, then turn right."

"Got it."

"Say, Roy - "

"Yeah?"

"What's on Marco's schematic?"

Roy sighed. "I'll tell you when we get back. I'm sure everyone else will have seen it by then, now that Cap has it."

"Nah. Cap'll return it to Marco."

Roy braked slightly as he took the right turn. "Yeah, maybe."

Five minutes later, they were flagged down by a young girl standing in front of a small stucco house. She was sobbing and jumping up and down. Roy knelt down and took her hands. "Sweetheart, did you call the Fire Department?"

She nodded. "Yes, my daddy told me to. He's in the backyard. He's hurt bad."

"Okay, hon. Show us where he is." Roy glanced at Johnny as they pulled equipment. Johnny raised his eyebrows, but remained silent.

They followed the girl into the yard, where a man lay on his back, his face contorted with pain, a pool of blood under his head. Roy smiled at the girl, then turned his attention to the father. "Can you tell me what happened?"

"I fell out of the tree." He gasped. 'Oh my God, it hurts."

"Your head?"

My head, my neck, my back."

"Did you hit your head when you fell?"

"I - I think I cracked in on the tree here on the way down."

Roy checked the man's head. "You opened a large cut on your scalp. That's why there's so much blood. There's a lot of blood vessels in the scalp. I'm just gonna apply a bandage here to stop the bleeding," he murmured, as he wrapped a bandage around the man's head.

"I'll get the cervical collar and the backboard," Johnny said. He ran from the yard.

Roy took the man's vitals. "So, why were you up in the tree?"

The man looked upward. Roy followed his line of vision and saw three boards nailed together in an arch of boughs. He looked at the girl, then at her father. "A treehouse?"

"Yeah. I slipped. God, I'm such a klutz. My wife warned me, but I didn't listen. And my buddies are coming over - ouch - later to help. what am I gonne tell them?"

"Don't worry about that now. Listen, can we get hold of your wife?"

"She's on her way. She's gonna kill me."

"Well, let me contact the hospital , here." Roy raised the biophone. "Rampart Base, this is Rescue 51, how do you read?"

Dixie's voice sounded in his ear. "This is Rampart Base, 51, go ahead."

"Rampart, we have a male, age approximately 35, who fell from a tree. He is complaining of head, neck, and back pain. He also has a contusion on his skull, and a deep scalp laceration, with signifiant blood loss. Vitals are: BP, 150/90, pulse 100, respirations 40 and labored.

Dr Early's voice replaced Dixie's. "Fifty-One, how is the pupil response?"

"Normal and reactive, Rampart."

"Fifty-One, apply cervical collar and check for spinal and head injuries."

"Ten-Four." Roy dropped the biophone and nodded at Johnny, who placed the cervical collar around the man's neck.

Roy leaned over the man and smiled reassuringly. "Can you wiggle your fingers?" The man wiggled his fingers. "Can you move your arms?" The man did.

Roy removed the man's shoes. "Your toes? Your legs?" The man wiggled his toes and moved his legs.

They gently rolled the man onto his side and Roy palpated his back and head. He grabbed the biophone. "Rampart, reflexes are normal. The majority of the pain is in the lumbar region. He also appears to have a fractured coccyx."

"Ten-Four, Fifty-One. Get him on a backboard, start an IV with Ringers, and transport immediately."

"Rampart, his young daughter is here. We need to wait until - "

"Roger Perkins, I TOLD you not to attempt this by yourself! Why oh why didn't you wait?"

"Rampart, the wife has arrived. Waiting on the - "

An ambulance pulled into the driveway.

"Ambulance just arrived."

"Ten-Four."

Roy and Johnny gently placed Roger on the backboard and lifted him onto the stretcher. Roger looked up at Roy. "Uh, what's a coccyx?"

"Just a fancy name for your tailbone."

They loaded Roger into the ambulance. Johnny handed the biophone and drug box to Roy, closed the doors to the ambulance, slapped them twice, and turned to Roger's wife and daugher.

"They're taking him to Rampart Emergency. You know where that is?"

Mrs. Perkins laughed ironically. "Know where it is? We spend half our lives there. He's such a klutz."

"Okay, well..." Johnny grabbed his helmet. "I gotta get going."

In the ambulance, Roger gasped. "Hey, could I have something for the pain?"

Roy put a hand on Roger's shoulder. "I wish I could give you something, but you have a possible head injury, and the docs need to check you out first."

Roger sighed, then laughed. "I just thought: I busted my butt busting my butt."

Roy chuckled appreciatively.

The ambulance arrived at Rampart. Roy and the attendants unloaded the stretcher and followed Dixie into Room Two. Roy bid Roger farewell, met Johnny in the hall, and they started toward the exit.

Johnny lead the way out of ER, paused to ogle a nurse, was nudged by Roy, tripped, and slammed into the back of the squad. "Man, ya didn't have to shove me! I was comin'!"

Roy chuckled. I didn't shove you. You tripped."

'Yeah, well..." Johnny loaded the biophone into the squad, waited for Roy to load the drug box, then glanced resentfully at Roy. "Ya gonna tell me what's on Marco's schematic now? Or am I gonna be the last one to hear about it?"

Roy was gazing off into space.

"Roy? Hey, Roy, I'm talkin' here. Whatcha thinkin' about?"

Roy started. "Huh? Oh, sorry. I was thinkin' about Roger. He was tryin' to build a treehouse floor when he fell." He climbed into the squad and slammed the door.

Johnny climbed into the shotgun seat and slammed the door. He grabbed the handset. "Squad 51, available."

"Squad Fifty-One."

Roy started the engine and they left the parking lot.

"Say, Roy..."

"Yeah?"

'How ARE we gonna get the treehouse floor up there? Secure ourselves with ropes?"

Roy rolled his eyes. "No. We're gonna build it on the ground and haul it up."

"Oh. Well. Good idea. Real good."

"Yeah. Real good."

"So..." Johnny asked quietly. "How did Marco change the schematic?"

"He, uh...just added a couple of things."

'So he didn't change my parts?" Johnny held his breath.

Roy patted Johnny's arm. "No, Junior. He didn't."

"Johnny exhaled with relief. "Then everything is all right."

Roy shrugged. "Yeah. Just hope Joanne thinks so."


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter Fourteen

Ten rescues later, it was time for bed. The crew slowly drifted into the dorm, dropped their turnouts, and climbed into bed. Johnny snickered.

"Nice shorts, Kelly. Gettin' a bit desperate?".

"They're a gift from a friend, Gage."

"Aw, cute little hearts and kiss marks. Come on, how much did ya pay for them?"

"Guys, drop it. Go to sleep," Mike requested, an annoyed tone creeping into his voice. I'm beat."

"Okay, okay," Johnny laughed. He climbed under the covers and glanced at Roy's bed. It was empty. Johnny assumed Roy was in the latrine. He threw his arm over his face and fell asleep.

Roy wasn't in the latrine. He was pacing in the dayroom. Barefoot, to keep the sound down. He replayed every rescue that day. The highlight was being called to treat half a dozen drunken men who were fighting over how to build a kid's fort. The injuries weren't serious, but it took the entire crew, plus the police, to break up the fight, and two of the men were hauled off to jail.

"I KNOW that's gonna happen to us. Nah, not us. Well, maybe." He tried to picture who would be arrested in his personal scenario, and he just couldn't decide. But it wouldn't be him. Unless he got in the middle of the fight. Then the kids would see it. And Joanne...nah, it wouldn't be him.

His foot itched. He scratched it. Boot came over to him and whined. He bent down to pet Boot, and noticed a dark line on the floor. Funny. He flipped on the light. The line was undulating. He followed it to Boot's food dish. It was crawling with ants. The ant line stretched out of the dayroom. He followed it to the locker room, straight to Johnny's locker. He opened the locker. There was one piece of banana peel, covered with ants. He sighed, went to the dorm room, and bent over Johnny.

"John, wake up."

Johnny mumbled incoherently, then turned his back on Roy.

Roy leaned over him and spoke directly into his ear. "John, the ants are back. They're in the dayroom, they're in Boot's food, and they're in your locker. I am NOT taking care of this alone. Now get UP."

THere was a short pause. Roy was about to shake Johnny when he rolled over on his back and yawned. "All right, all right, I heard ya."

Johnny pulled on his turnouts and followed Roy into the dayroom. He surveyed the damage. "Man..." He stumbled into the bay, grabbed a bucket, the disinfectant, and two mops. He returned to the dayroom and thrust a mop at Roy. "Here. You're up, ya might as well help."

Roy took the mop. "Technically, this is your job."

"Oh, shaddup."

Roy snickered. Johnny glared at him, picked up Boot's food dish, took it outside, and dumped it in the garbage. When he returned to the dayroom, Roy was mopping the floor. Johnny checked the locker room, then returned to the dayroom. "They're spreading in there. Chet's got 'em in his locker." Roy nodded. Johnny turned to go back to the locker room, then looked at Roy. "Why were you up, anyway?"

"I dunno. Just wound up from today, I guess."

"Roy...it's gonna be okay. Really. I'll make sure of it."

Roy stopped mopping. He stretched and shook his head. "Well, now I'm REALLY worried.."

"Hey, I was just tryin' to - "

The klaxons sounded. "Squad 51, child fell from tree. 1435 Claremont, one four three five Claremont, cross street Greer, time out 1:08."

By the time Roy and Johnny got to the bay, Cap was already there. "Squad 51, KMG 365." He handed the address to Roy, then walked into the locker Room. "Ants. Great."

The squad pulled up to a large house in a wealthy neighborhood. A man was standing by the curb. Roy and Johnny pulled equipment and followed the man across a spacious lawn, through a gate, around a pool, and across another spacious lawn, where a young boy lay under a tree, grasping his wrist. Another boy was sitting close by, and a woman was hovering over the prone boy, trying to get an ice pack on his wrist.

Roy squatted down and smiled at the boy. "Hi there. My name is Roy. What's your name?"

"Donald," the woman responded. "I'm his mother. He fell out of the tree."

Roy nodded, then looked back at Donald. "What were you doing when you fell?"

"They were playing chicken," the woman said. "They were trying to see how far they could lean out of the treehouse without falling. These kids have no sense. No sense at all."

"Donald," Roy tried to continue. "Did you land on your wrist?"

"Yes," the woman interrupted.' I saw what was happening. I almost caught him, but he slipped through my arms and landed on his wrist."

"Uh, ma'am?" Roy gently interjected. "Could you let Donald speak for himself? It would really help us. He turned back to Donald. "Could you let go of your wrist so I can take a look at it? I'll be real careful."

Donald shook his head. The woman tapped Roy on the shoulder. "He can't speak. He's mute."

"Oh. Okay." Roy tried again. "Donald, I know you're real scared. But I'm here to help you. Could you let me take a look at your wrist?" Donald slowly released his wrist and Roy gently felt it. He started taking Donald's vitals while Johnny set up the biophone.

"Rampart Base, this is Rescue 51, how do you read?"

Brackett's voice, tired and grounchy, sounded in his ear. "Read you loud and clear, 51, go ahead."

Rampart, we have a male, age..." Johnny looked at the woman. She was smiling at Donald. "Ma'am? How old is he?"

She looked up, annoyed. "Six and a half. Why?"

"Rampart, the maile is six and a half. He fell out of a treehouse. Hold for vitals.

Roy finished taking Donalds BP. "BP is 115/75." He took Donald's pulse. "Pulse is eighty." He rested his hand on Donald's chest. "Respirations are sixteen."

"Rampart, vitals are: BP, 115/75, pulse 80, respirations sixteen."

Roy completed his exam and grabbed the biophone. "Rampart the only injury he appears to have is a fractured wrist. But I'm not sure he didn't sustain other injuries.

Brackett sighed audibly, the biophone amplifying the sound. Roy grimaced and moved the receiver away from his ear. "Fifty-One, splint the arm, start an IV with D5W TKO, and transport immediately.

"Ten-Four." Roy dropped the biophone and pulled a splint from the trauma box, while Johnny pulled the D5W from the drug box. The mother watched Johnny rip open the D5W packaging.

"Wait, wait. What's that for?"

"Ma'am, it's just to keep access to the vein open in case they need to admininster IV medication." He started to set up the catheter when he felt an iron grip on his arm.

"No. No catheter."

"Ma'am, the doctor - "

'No, he just needs a cast. I'll take him to the hospital myself."

Roy tried to give it a go. "Ma'am, Donald may have other injuries. He needs to be monitored - "

"No. No, I can deal with it. We just called you so he could get a splint before we took him to the hospital."

Roy glanced at Johnny. Johnny grabbed the biophone. "Rampart, the mother is refusing IV and transport. She says she'll bring the victim in herself."

"Fifty-One, did you explain the consquences of not letting you transport?"

"Uh, yeah. Ten-Four."

"Okay, Fifty-One. It's her decision."

Johnny pulled and MICU form from the drug box. "Okay, ma'am, but we'll need you to sign a form stating that you refused to let us treat and transport your son."

The woman looked at her husband. "Herbert, sign the form." She helped Donald to her feet and they walked toward the car in the driveway.

Herbert smiled tiredly. He signed the form and shook their hands. "Thanks, boys."

Roy and Johnny collected their equipment, loaded the squad, informed the ambulance that transport was cancelled, and climbed into the squad. Roy pulled the squad into the road and they headed back toward the station.

Johnny scrunched down in the shotgun seat and closed his eyes. "Ya notice how all our calls this shift have been about kids' structures and power tool accidents? Think it's a sign?"

Roy glanced at him. "I don't believe in signs."

"Yeah, but ya gotta admit - "

"I said I don't believe in signs."

They rode in silence for a moment. Then Roy mumbled, "I'm switching to Marco's plan. It's closer to the ground. All I have to do is get Joanne to give up part of her...I think she'll agree. Yeah, she will. It's a safety issue She'll agree."

"Agree to what? Hey, what's in that plan, anyway?"

Roy glanced at Johnny again. You got ants to clean up, John. That's what you should be thinking about. Ants."


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter Fifteen**

'DADDY'S HOME!'

Jenny came barreling downstairs and pulled open the door, just as Roy reached the threshold. She threw herself into his arms. "Daddy, I missed you so much!"

"I missed you too, Pumpkin. Where's Mommy?"

"In the kitchen. Daddy, guess what we did."

Roy looked down at her absently. "What?"

"I'll show you." She pulled his hands insistently, until Roy followed her upstairs and into her room. She pulled open the drapes. "Look what we did!"

Roy looked out the window. There was a half-built treehouse teetering in the boughs of the tree. He stared at it.

'Daddy, are you surprised?"

"Uh, yeah, yeah. I'll be back." Roy stomped downstairs and toward the kitchen. Was Joanne CRAZY? How in the world did she - "

"Hello, Roy."

Alice.

"Where's Joanne, Alice?"

"In the garage, loading the dryer."

"Alice, what do you know about - "

"The treehouse? Your kids told my girls that you and your friends were having trouble figuring out exactly how to build one, so I told Bruno to come over and help you out. He finished ours, you see. Thought you could use the help."

"Help? Bruno is a pencil pusher and we work with tools and you think - "

"Hi, Sweetie. Didn't hear you come in." Joanne entered the kitchen and placed herself between Alice and Roy.

Alice stepped to the side. "Listen Roy, if you need any pointers, Bruno would be happy to help. He's quite handy, you know."

But Roy had disappeared. He marched over to the staircase, picked Jenny up from her perch on the first step, kissed her, murmered, "Go help Mommy or something else down here, but stay inside," placed her down, and ran upstairs. He placed five phone calls in quick succession.

"John, get over here. No, you are not invited for lunch."

"Marco, you know that new schematic? I'd like to pace it off with you. Can you come over now?"

"Chet, do me a favor for once in your life. Come over and don't make any wisecracks."

"Mike, I'm sorry I woke you, but I could really use your help."

"Cap, I know you're busy, but I got a situation going on here."

He placed the receiver down, took a deep breath, and headed back downstairs. Jenny grabbed his hands. "Daddy, come outside and see!"

Roy vehemently shook his head. "No. And you stay inside. That thing could come down any minute. Where's your brother?"

"At Bobby's."

"Okay." He turned on the TV. "Emergency + Four is on."

"But you said that show is - "

"Yeah, well. Just watch it okay?"

Jenny shrugged. "Okay."

Roy took a deep breath and returned to the kitchen, just in time to see Alice scoot out the back door. Joanne regarded him with an apologetic smile. "Now hon, I know what you're thinking, but Alice is just really hard to say no to, and I - "

Roy pointed out the window at the tree. "Did you see that thing? It's an accident waiting to - "

WHOOSH! The entire structure collapsed, wood splintering as it hit the ground. Roy and Joanne stared at it a moment. Roy put an arm around Joanne's shaking shoulders and whispered, "It's okay. No harm done."

She shook her head and guffawed. "No, I'm laughing. I was hoping it would hold up long enough for you to see. I wouldn't let the kids near it. I knew it was just a matter of time."

There was a pounding at the front door, followed by Jenny bellowing, "UNCLE JOHNNY'S HERE!" at the top of her lungs. Roy kissed Joanne and walked into the livng room.

Johnny was staring at the TV. "What's this?"

"Emergency + Four."

"Plus four what?"

"Plus four kids who help - oh, never mind. I need your help in the back yard."

"Uh, sure." Johnny followed Roy out to the back yard, where they stood silently, looking at the mess under the tree. Finally, Johnny sighed. "Ya should of waited for us, Roy."

"Me? You think I did this?" Roy sputtered. "I didn't have anything at all to do with this. This was all - "

"Hi, John," purred a voice from above the fence. Alice was standing on a chair, smiling flirtatiously. "Roy, I'm so sorry. We'll pay for damages, of course. I honestly don't know how this happened. Bruno is so - "

"Handy. Yeah, you mentioned that. Look, could you excuse us?"

"Oh. Certainly. Nice seeing you again, John. Don't be a stranger." Alice's smiling face disappeared.

"Johnny regarded Roy sadly. "If I was you, I'd move. Man - "

"Look, just help me get this cleaned up, okay?"

"Yeah, sure, whatever you say." They started sorting through lumber. "Roy, I don't think any of this is salvagable."

"UNCLE MARCO'S HERE!" came Jenny's voice.

Roy hollered, "Send him out!" He grinned at Johnny. "She's got quite a set of pipes on her." Johnny shook his head and kept sorting.

Marco strolled out into the back yard. "What happened here?"

Johnny motioned toward the fence. "Alice."

"Alice? That nice neighbor lady?"

"Nice? Are you kidding me? Alice?"

"Hey, she was nice to ME. What does she have to do with this?"

Roy looked up at the tree. "Uh oh."

Johnny and Marco looked up. Marco grimaced. "I see what you mean."

Johnny nodded. "Yeah. That's incredible." He chuckled. "Kinda solves your problem, though."

"Daddy?" Chris appeared in the back yard. He looked up at the tree and his eyes filled with tears. "D-d-d-daaaaddddyyyy..."

Roy crouched down and hugged Chris. "It'll be okay, son. We make something real special."

Johnny ruffled Chris's hair. "We sure will, Sprout. Hey, why dontcha help me get this stuff cleaned up, and then we can start workin' on - "

CRASH! Part of the treehouse next door hit the ground. The Hooper girls started screaming. Marco scrambled over the fence, followed by Johnny. Roy ran into the house, told Joanne to call for a squad, and took off for the Hoopers.


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter Sixteen**

Chet arrived, got out of his vehicle, heard the noise, and ran into the Hooper's yard. Alice was trying to climb onto the pile of lumber, and Marco was trying to pull her off. Chet joined Marco, and together they were able to lift Alice up and set her on the ground.

"Ma'am, ya gotta stay off that."

"My girls are under there."

"Okay, but don't get on it. You might injure them."

Chet, Marco, and John started the painstaking task of untangling the mess on the ground. Roy ran into the yard just as Alice tried to climb on the pile of lumber again. He pulled her off, and against his better judgement, put an arm around her to keep her still.

"Hang on," Chet grunted, as he lifted a heavy board. "I see a kid here."

Marco helped Chet move the board up and off the pile and turned to place it on the ground. Alice lunged toward the sound of her daugher's whining, and the board cracked her on the forhead. She flew backward,, Roy caught her, and they both splashed down into the koi pond.

Mike ran into the yard, suppressed a chuckle, and lifted Alice off Roy. "You okay?"

I - I think so."

"Let's have you sit down." Mike backed Alice up to a chaise lounge on the patio, and lowered her into it. "You just rest."

Alice grasped his hand. "Thank you. I'm Alice. And you are - "

"Mike. Mike Stoker."

"It's lovely to meet you, Mike. Could you check my koi pond? There should be eight koi in there, and I love them all. I'd be so appreciative."

"Uh, sure." Mike returned to the koi pond, hauled Roy out of it, and started counting fish. Roy pulled a koi out of his pocket and gently dropped it back into the water.

"We got her!" Chet yelled, as they lifted one of the girls out of the pile. Chet and Marco placed her on the grass and Johnny started checking her. Alice joined him, occasionally getting in his way, oblivious to his requests to move back. Finally, the girl heaved an annoyed sigh and shoved Johnny's hands away.

"Lemme go! Leave me alone!" She got up and walked into the house. Chet and Marco returned to combing through the debris.

Roy glanced up. "Uh, guys..." Marco, Chet, Mike, and Johnny followed Roy's line of sight until they saw the second Hooper girl sitting on a chair at the edge of the broken structure in the tree. She waved. Warily.

"Hi. Could Mr. Gage help me down?"

Roy followed the first Hooper girl into the house, and Johnny eyed the tree. "If I had a ladder..." He turned to Alice. "You got a ladder?"

Alice looked bewildered. "A ladder? I don't know..."

Johnny sighed. "Can I look in the garage?"

"Can't you wait for the real firemen?"

Johnny took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. "They'll be here, but I don't think you should leave your child up there in the tree like that, Alice."

"We might have a ladder in the garage, but that's Bruno's work area and he doesn't like - "

But Johnny had disappeared. Chet nodded at Marco and MIke, they nodded back, and took off after Johnny. Moments later, they emerged, Johnny and Mike carrying a ladder, Johnny muttering, "Man, you can eat off the floor in there."

Johnny and Mike set the ladder up leaning against the tree, Chet and Marco steadied it, and Mike thought about how nice it would be to have some pumps to man. Johnny started climbing, paused as his foot went through a step, scraping his ankle, smiled reassuringly at Alice, and continued his climb. He reached the top of the ladder, got a foothold on a bough, and hitched himself up next to the Hooper girl.

"Hi. Ready to come down?"

"Yeah."

"Okay. Just lean over my shoulder and close your eyes."

The girl started to lean, then drew back. "You sure you're strong enough?"

Johnny smiled. "Yeah. I'm a fireman. We're all strong."

The girl studied him dubiously. "You sure you're a fireman?"

"Yes. "

"You look like my math teacher."

"Look, quit stalling. We coulda been on the ground already."

"Okay." She started to lean one more time, then drew back again. "If you drop me, my mom'll sue you."

"Johnny gently forced her over his shoulder. "Good to know, but I ain't gonna drop you." He stepped carefully on the ladder. The girl started struggling. "Hey, close your eyes and hold on. Do as I say." She pushed herself down until Johnny was holding on to her legs. He tightened his hold "I said stop it!" She kept struggling until she had her hands on the ladder. She tried to pull out of his arms. "Hey, knock it off! What're you doing?" She slipped from his grasp, did a summersault, and was caught by Chet and Marco. The ladder tipped, Chet and Marco dodged away, Mike made a grab for it and missed, and Johnny landed on his back, the ladder falling on top of him. He shoved the ladder to the side and glared at Chet, Mike, and Marco. "Thanks, guys. Incredible support there."

Alice and Roy emerged from the house, Alice smiling, Roy limping. He nodded at Mike, who was having trouble keeping a straight face, and pulled Johnny to his feet. Chet and Marco set the girl on her feet, and she ran to her mother. Alice looked at the ladder, shook her head, and muttered, "Bruno isn't going to like this," then smiled brightly at the crew. "Thank you so much, gentlemen. We can take it from here." She turned to her daughter and walked into the house.

The guys caught wind of the daughter's last comment. "Mommy, those guys are not real firemen."

Chet walked over to Johnny. "Well, how do ya like that?"

Johnny shrugged. "Let's just get outta here. They straggled back to the DeSoto's house. The squad pulled up. Mike went to explain the situation. Roy pulled Johnny aside.

"I need you to look at something."

'What?"

"Just come with me." He lead the way into the den and closed the door. "You laugh and you're a dead man. Got it?"

"Yeah, yeah. What's wrong?"

Roy dropped his pants and shorts. "I landed on a rock. Hurts like hell. How does it look?"

Johnny swallowed a chuckle and checked the wound. He winced. "It's superficial, but ya got some moss in there, and it's bleedin' bad. Where's your guauze, tape, and tweezers?"

"In the bathroom upstairs."

"I'll be right back."

"Hurry up and be quiet about it. And for God's sake - "

Chet burst into the room. He guffawed. "So this is how it comes out in the end, huh Roy?"

Johnny shoved Chet out of the room. "Chet, shut up." He bounded up the stairs.

Chet backed away and grabbed Marco. Mike came through the door with Cap, Chet guffawed and told them what was happening in the den. Cap raised a hand, a smile threatening to curl his lips upward. "Let's go find something else to do. Give the man some privacy.

"Yeah," Mike agreed. "Let's go clean up the mess out there."


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter Seventeen**

"Daddy, the door is locked."

"I know, Chris. Go find something else - ouch! - to do."

"Okay." Chris leaned closer to the door and motioned Jenny over.

"Roy," Johnny said, as he squinted at the moss, "This is kinda a bad angle. Could ya lie down on the floor?"

Roy looked heavenward and inched himself down onto the floor. Johnny squatted down, grabbed the tweezers, and eyed the wound.

"This is probably gonna hurt."

"Okay, okay. Just do it already!"

"Okay, here we go." Johnny carefully pulled on the moss. A few strands pulled out of the wound. "Uh...this is gonna take some time."

"Why? What's the big deal?"

"It's uh, not comin' out in one piece."

"Well, hurry up."

"Okay. Hold still."

"I AM holding still."

Johnny carefully grasped more moss with the tweezers. He pulled. Roy yelped and batted his hand away. "Hey, don't tweeze my HAIR, you idiot."

"Sorry. Your hair is kinda tangled in the moss."

"Well, SORRY I have body hair, John. Get to work, and be careful, would ya?" Johnny snickered. Roy looked back at him. "WHAT?"

"I just uh...never seen so much hair on a backside."

"Oh, you done a buttock study?"

"Of course no!" I'm just sayin' - "

"Gimme those tweezers." Roy grabbed the tweezers, reached back, and yanked a chunk of moss out of the wound. He winced. "There. It's done."

"Roy?"

"Ow, what?"

"Ya only got half of it."

Roy's head drooped. "Junior, would ya go get Joanne?"

Johnny studied the wound. "I don't think this is a job for Joanne."

"But - "

"Or me either, now that I'm lookin' at it."

"Huh?"

"Roy, this needs stitches."

"Oh, for God's sake. Get me a mirror."

"A mirror..." Johnny looked around. "Is there a mirror in here?"

Roy leaned his chin on his hands. "Joanne's side of the counter, master bathroom."

"Okay. Don't move." Johnny unlocked the door and opened it. He caught the kids as they were about to fall through the doorway. "Hey, your dad said to scram!" He picked them up, one under each arm, and carried them into the living room, where he dropped them on the sofa. "Watch TV or something, but stay away from the den."

Chris frowned. "You're not the boss of me!"

"I am!" Roy yelled from the den. You two go outside and help the uncles. Now!"

"But Uncle Johnny said - "

"NOW!"

Chris shrugged and headed outside. Jenny stared at Johnny. "What's wrong with Daddy?"

"He, uh, he got a boo-boo."

"Where?"

"On his - "

"Jennifer, where's your mother?" came Roy's voice from the den.

"Out."

"Out where?"

"I dunno."

"John?"

"Yeah?"

"Go find Joanne."

"Uh, sure, just hold on a minute." Johnny tucked Jenny under his arm and looked in the kitchen. Chet was gazing into the fridge. "Hey, where's Joanne?"

"Out," Chet replied, without turning around.

"Come on. Where?"

"I dunno. I think she's gettin' food. She said the thought of her husband with a plant growin' outta him made her nervous. And we're gettin' hungry. So she went out."

"Well, okay. Here." Johnny thrust Jenny at Chet and ran upstairs.

Jenny stared at Chet. "I like that thing on your face."

"That thing? Oh, the mustache. Yeah, all the ladies like Chester B's mustache." He smiled. Ya wanna feel it? Go ahead."

Jenny gave Chet's mustache a tentative feel. Then she smiled brightly and yanked it. Hard. "Does it come off?"

"Ouch! No! Knock it off."

Marco appeared in the doorway. "Chet, we need you to go buy a red wagon."

"A red wagon? Why?"

"It's part of the building plan."

Chet scowled. "No one mentioned a red wagon before."

"The plan changed."

"Why do I have to be the one who - "

"Kelly?" Cap appeared in the doorway. "Go get a red wagon."

"Uh, sure Cap." Chet handed Jenny off to Marco and disappeared.

Jenny smiled at Marco. "I like that thing on your face."

Marco carried Jenny out into the backyard. "My mustache?" The sound of their voices faded until Marco yelped in pain.

Johnny loped down the stairs and locked himself in the den. Cap walked over to the door. "How's it going in there, guys?"

"Fine, Cap," they answered in unision. Cap turned to go, but Roy called out to him.

"Cap, what's this about a red wagon? The kids already have one."

"New idea, Pally. You just relax. Everything is under control." He walked away.

Roy grabbed the mirror and tried to get a look at the wound. "I can't see it. Ouch!"

"Got it!" Johnny declared triumphantly, as he pulled out the rest of the moss. "Let's get some pressure on it and get you to Rampart."

"No. No Rampart."

"Roy - "

"You know how to make butterfly sutures?"

"Well yeah, but - "

"Clean the wound and make the sutures."

"Okay. But I don't think that's a good idea."

"Johnny, this whole fiasco was your idea. I don't have much faith in what you think right now."

Johnny sighed. He grabbed the antiseptic and applied it to the wound. He winced as Roy gripped the carpet and gasped. Then he grabbed the tape and started making the sutures.


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter Eighteen**

Joanne carried two bags of Chinese food into the house, set them down on the kitchen table, stuck her head out the back door, and yelled, "Come and get it!"

There was a momentary pause, then three firefighters and two kids crowded into the kitchen and started serving themselves lunch. Roy pushed through the door and limped in. He nodded at Joanne and got in line.

"John'll be here in a minute. He's cleaning up the den. There's uh, some spots on the carpet."

"Spots? Spots of what, hon?"

Roy studied the containers of food. "Spots. Antiseptic and uh, some uh, you know - "

"Blood. You bled on the carpet."

"Just a bit Joanne, and it's not like I could help it. I was injured!"

Cap, Marco, and Mike eyed each other and silently left the kitchen, taking the kids with them.

"Roy, that's a brand new carpet. Couldn't you have gone somewhere - "

"All right! Chinese food. Incredible." Johnny slammed through the kitchen door and grabbed a plate. "Joanne, you got this? I wanna thank ya - "

But Joanne had left.

Johnny started filling his plate with food. He grabbed a fried prawn and crammed it into his mouth. "Man, I'm starving."

Roy glanced at him, then returned to checking out the food. "You got it cleaned up?"

Johnny grinned nervously. "Yeah. Mostly."

"Mostly? Whadaya mean, mostly?"

Johny walked around to the other side of the table, closer to the door, so he could make a run for it if necessary. "Well, blood doesn't come up so easy, and the antiseptic had kinda a bleaching effect, but I - "

Roy's nostrils flared. "You ruined the carpet."

"Hey, it's not MY fault. Chet and Marco whacked Alice and you caught her. Then you pulled me into the den when we coulda gone to the bathroom. Whadaya mad at ME for?"

Roy took a deep breath. "You're right, you're right. I'm sorry. As he walked by Johnny, he felt a hand gripping his arm. "What?"

"Roy, you're uh, you're bleedin' through your pants there."

Roy twisted to look at the wound. "Let's go put some pressure on it."

"It needs stitches."

"John, if you think I'm gonna let the docs stitch me up there unless it happened in the line of duty, you - "

"Okay, I got the wagon. Where is everyone?" Chet asked, as he came through the back door. "Hey, Chinese food! Great, I'm starvin'. Any fried prawns?"

Johnny stuffed the last fried prawn into his mouth. "Nope, all gone."

Chet rolled his eyes. 'Gee, thanks for savin' my favorite dish there, Gage."

Roy cut Johnny off before an argument broke out. "Hey, Chet. What's the wagon for?"

"Oh, this? We're gonna - "

Chet, great, I'll take that," Marco interrupted, as he came through the door and grabbed the wagon. "Roy, you got a screwdriver and drill? And where are your nuts, bolts, screws?"

"Wait, wait. What are you gonna - "

"Hey Roy, you're bleeding through your pants, Pal. John, why don't you take a look at the wound again?" Cap said, as he snatched the wagon from Marco. "Okay guys, let's get moving."

"Moving on WHAT?" Roy demanded.

Mike came up behind Roy and patted him on the shoulder. Don't worry about it. It's a great idea."

"WHAT'S a great - "

"Roy," Mike continued. "Your backside is bleeding."

Johnny took Roy by the shoulders and pulled him into the living room. The kids were watching TV. As Johnny pushed him toward the staircase, Roy called out, "Turn off the TV and go play out back."

Chris shook his head. "Uncle Hank said we're supposed to stay inside."

Roy wrenched free from Johnny's grasp and turned to the kids. "Inside? Why?"

Chris shrugged. "I dunno. But he's the Captain." He turned the volume up.

Johnny gave Roy a gentle shove. "Let's go."

"Not until I see what's going on out there. " Roy walked back toward the kitchen, and Johnny settled on the sofa.

"Cartoons. Outta sight.

Roy limped into the kitchen, wincing as the butterfly sutures pulled on his skin. He stuck his head out the back door. Cap, Mike, Chet, and Marco were crowded around something. As Roy started to call out, they turned on the electric drill. He sighed, and as he was about to withdraw into the house, he saw something.

Something bad.

Something really bad.

"Honey, you're bleeding. What did John do to you?" Joanne asked in a concerned tone of voice, as she put her hand on Roy's shoulder and kissed the back of his neck. "Should I take you to the hospital? You need stitches?"

Roy whipped around, forced a smile, and took Joanne's hand. He pushed the door closed with his foot and walked her away from the yard. "Honey, I just want you to know that I have nothing to do with what's going on out there. Nothing. How's the carpet?"

Joanne looked confused. "The carpet? Not bad, actually. I got the blood up, and the coffee table leg will cover the bleached spot. I'm sorry I was so upset." She kissed him. Roy smiled at her.

"Sweetheart, John is going to take me to the hospital to get stitches. Could you walk me out to the car?"

"Okay, sure."

Hand in hand, Roy and Joanne walked into the living room. Roy tapped Johnny on the shoulder. "Let's go."

Johnny raised a hand and shook his head. "In a minute. these characters sound vaguely familiar. I wanna see the credits at the end."

Roy yanked him up. "Let's GO!"

"All right, all right, geez." Johnny lead them to the door, pulled it open, and ushered Roy through.

Roy paused on the threshold, smiled at Joanne and said, "Remember, Sweetheart...it's not my uh...responsibility what happens when I'm not around."

Joanne gave him a puzzled look and felt his forehead. "You feel feverish?"

"Uh, no."

Joanne looked worriedly at Johnny. "John, take good care of him, please."

It was Johnny's turn to look puzzled. Joanne closed the door and Roy limped down the porch steps. Johnny pulled open the passenger door of the Rover, fished around in the back, found an old towel, covered the passenger seat, then stood aside as Roy gingerly sat down. He slammed the door, climbed into the passenger seat, and they were off.

"So, Roy."

Roy winced. "Yeah?"

"What was that about? You not bein' responsible an' all?"

Roy grasped the dashboard so hard his knuckles turned white. "You gotta help me. Joanne is gonna murder me."

Johnny chuckled. "Roy, dontcha think you're makin' kinda a big deal over a few little nothing spots on the carpet?"

"It's not the carpet!"

"Well, what is it?"

Roy leaned conspiratorially close to Johnny's ear. "They dug up Joanne's vegetable garden."

Johnny stared straight ahead. "Oh."

"Oh? that's all you got to say?"

"Uh, does this have anything to do with Marco's part of the plan?"

"Yes-s-s-s!"

"Part of the plan was to dig up her garden?"

"No, it was to - look, the point is that they've done it."

"Ya coulda told me the plan, ya know. Why didn't ya tell ME? Come to think of it, you still haven't told me - "

"You? Who cares about you? It's Joanne I never told. And now they've gone and done it. I didn't tell them to. They just ASSUMED. She's gonne kill me."

"Fine. Ya don't wanna tell me, don't tell me." Johnny frowned and turned on the radio. A few minutes later they pulled up to Rampart's Emergency Entrance.

Johnny grudglingly shepherded Roy through the doors. The fist person to see them was Dixie. She smiled and took Johnny's arm. "Okay. What did you do to yourself this time?"

Johnny pulled away. "It's Roy. He needs stitches."

Dixie turned to Roy. "Where, hon?" Roy blushed. Johnny laughed and pointed.

On his backside. His right Gluteus Maximus, lateral side, to be exact.

Dixie nodded gravely. "I see. You come with me, Roy. Dr. Morton is free."

Johnny tapped Dixie on the shoulder. I can come, right?"

Dixie raised an eyebrow. "That's up to Roy." She regarded Roy sardonically. "He has seen your, uh your Gluteus Maximus, lateral side before, right?"

Roy blushed beet red. "Well yeah, but - "

Roy hesitated. Johnny grinned. May I remind you of the time I was naked, under the sheet, after that car barreled into me?"

"Hey, that was serious. That was - "

"Okay Gage, what did you get into this time?" Morton grabbed Johnny's arm and pushed him into Treatment Three. Roy had no choice but to follow.


End file.
